Drinking my beer and eating my food has become such the norm in this house that I am currently searching out new and creative ways to preserve my stuff. Keep in mind we have been in this house for four months and he has yet to go to the grocery store even once.
I went to the corner liquor store to get some beers, It was Monday Night Football or something. I really wasn't in the mood to drink a lot, which means whatever amount of beers I buy right now minus whatever I drink tonight will disappear into the hurricane black hole of weed induced caloric consumption he goes thru every day and night.
Standing there in front of the 7-11 coolers, remembering my high school days I had an epiphany...I'll just get a 40oz! One private beer for just me! With the biggest smile on my face I rode my bike back to the house and enjoyed about three sips of that beer before going to bed. It had been a long week and I was exhausted. I put the 1/3 empty beer back in the fridge and went to sleep.
I got a call from my friend who stopped off at my house to pick up his computer that next day
SA: Hey, is Hurricane (my roommates nickname we gave him) drinking 40s now?
BD: No I bought one last night, that's mine in the fridge that is half full.
SA: It's not in the fridge and it's not half full. Its empty on your coffee table.
Who the fuck drinks someone else's half drank beer? Apparently my roommate, The Hurricane.
Obviously, I am not that clever. My search continues...
New reader, lots of catching up to do but... try buying doubles of things and intentionally contaminating some with exlax :D, just make sure to mark BOTH containers with different marks and know which one is safe. The kicker? WARN him you've done so. Make sure you switch up your marks from time to time. I'm betting he'll take the risk some day just to try to know which he can eat for the future :D
ReplyDeleteI've done most of what you suggest here. Once I move out I will post those pics/events, theres some REALLY good shit coming trust me. I just want to be moved out in case he finds out why he puked and shit for hours on certain nights, or was kept awake with a 180 bpm heartrate, etc etc. Fun stuff comin...
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