Hurricane got home from work, busted through the front door slamming it open, ya know his normal Kramer entrance, and goes directly to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of wine and a wine opener and attacked. He was aggressively trying to open this wine bottle, he was in a bit of a frenzy. Me still stunned from his entrance, sitting on the couch watching this scene unfold. He is yanking and grunting and yelling at the cork that wont pop.
He finally pops the cork and realizes he doesn't have a glass. Since he hasn't done any dishes since he has moved in, and I now refuse to pick up after him, he can't find one. He spots a tiny plastic see through cup. About half the size of a normal Solo cup. He starts pouring the wine into the cup....but he is staring at it like he wants to rape it. He can NOT wait to finish the pour and wants to start drinking it now, his eyes are all big, salivating at the alcohol bouncing around in the cup as it fills up.
That's when it happened. He couldn't wait the three seconds to fill up the tiny cup. While still pouring into this mini cup he brings it up to his lips and tries to take a sip. While still pouring. Sticking his lips out as far as he can, trying to get a sip while still leaving enough room for the wine bottle to keep pouring. He now has the wine bottle pressed against his face and is drinking from the cup. He almost pulled it off but of course, in true hurricane style, he spilled wine everywhere in the process. He looks down and uses his shoe to rub it into the floor. It's a fucking vinyl floor. Instead of taking the two seconds to grab a paper towel, that is in arms length away no less, he scuffs it around with his feet and darts into his room.
I sat there stunned. I have never seen such behavior in a human before. It was like watching something on the Discovery channel, the drinking habits of some unknown ape species. Is this real? I ask that question almost daily now.
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