Cleans Up A Little Bit, Fails

I came home Sunday night to a complete disaster. Way worse than normal. Counting the new wine bottles laying around everywhere, the Hurricane drank five bottles of wine during the Sunday night football game I went to my buddy's house for. Five. There are various items he used for wine glasses all over the TV room. There is a tiny plastic solo cup on the couch, spilled. There is a Chimay goblet laying on the carpet next to the couch, spilled. There is a normal blue solo cup spilled on the coffee table. Two coffee cups used for wine, one on the coffee table and one on the bathroom sink. And empty wine bottles everywhere.

I really need to install the Hurricane cam in here asap so I can see what this creature does during these periods of time, it is quite amazing just looking at the aftermath. One of the more curious things I saw was two empty wine bottles and an empty beer can under the chair. Almost like a chipmunk hiding refuge for winter or something. I don't know why I took a picture of it, I came home and was slightly buzzed so I probably thought it was funny at the time. I never thought I would use it here.

Lets fast forward to last night (Wednesday). I watch the Lakers game over my friends house and when it's over I headed home, it's 10pm so I'm hoping he is passed out. Nope, the red light is on again, which means he is doing his buddist shit. His janitor mentor usually leaves as soon as I walk in and tonight was no different. The Hurricane was somewhat sober tonight, in a good mood and talkative.

Hurr: Hey whats up man hows it going?
BD: Just watched Lakers game over Shitass' house.
Hurr: Oh cool really cool did they win? Who did they play?
BD: Yes. Suns.

I immediately turn on the TV and break out his Kryptonite. There is one thing that can always make the Hurricane go away....old episodes of Cheers. I record these on the DVR and break them out any time I need them. It works every time, within minutes.

Hurr: Oh Cheers huh, cool.
BD: Yep.
Hurr: Well I'm going to clean up a little bit.

What the fuck? God damn Cheers is magical! Thank you Sam 'Mayday' Malone. Naturally I don't get my hopes up. The kitchen sink is filled with dishes as you can see and he never touched a single one of them. All the black powder in the sink is ashes from his bong, no need to wash those down with water or anything, just leave em there, thanks dude.

So what did he clean then? He grabbed two items from under that chair to throw them away. Just two, not all three, just two. And left a single empty wine bottle there. How do you fail in cleaning up three items when it's the only thing you grab? When he said "a little bit" he really meant it! And not only did he not grab all these items from under the chair (also not grabbing ANY thing else at all around the house, including his taco bell lunch from LAST Monday) he didn't even get those two items all the way to the trash! He just put them on the kitchen counter! In the world of a Hurricane....that is cleaning up a little bit. I guess I should be grateful?

So that's how the area under the chair looks now. Wine stains and a single empty wine bottle and a cap to a Hashish capsule. Maybe next time he 'cleans up a little bit" one or two of those items may make it to the kitchen counter too...and possibly all the way to the trash can!

As he put those two items on the kitchen counter I realize what happened. On his way over to the trash he would have had to pass his bong that's on the kitchen counter. So he stopped, lost track of everything he said 10 seconds ago and what he was in the middle of doing, got rid of whatever was in his hands onto the counter, grabbed his bong and took a couple rips. Three rips later he did the Peter Griffin walk into his bedroom and was not seen for the rest of the night. Oblivious doesn't even come close to describing him.