Dr. Hurricane

This happened the same day we found out that the Hurricane had tried to heat up a microwavable dinner on a plate and cooking pan in the fireplace. When I woke up, with a massive hangover I might add, I walked into the main room and started cleaning up. I had some people over the previous night and we partied pretty hard. So naturally I start cleaning, because, ya know, that's what grown ups do.

The Hurricane came barreling out of his room, smashing the door, bumping into the hallway wall knocking a picture off, ya know, his usual routine, and ran up to me excitedly...

Hurr: Are you going to see Shitass today?!~?!!??!>?
BD: Yea probably, my car is parked down by his house so I might...
Hurr: GOOD, you need to talk to him man, he needs to go to the Doctor right away!
BD: Ummmm
Hurr: TONIGHT!!! He needs to go tonight, he can die any day!
BD: Ummmmmmmm
Hurr: Yea man, I was watching him while he was sleeping last night, he can't breathe in his sleep, he has sleep apnea bad, he might die tonight! You never know!

I try to take in what he just said. Yes...sleep apnea is bad, yes....I am very hungover and don't want to think, but WHAT THE CRAP IS HE DOING WATCHING MY FRIEND BREATHE WHILE HE SLEEPS?

I can NOT wait to tell Shitass this story so I sent him a text: "Hurricane says you need to go to doctors tonight, you might die, come by for details."

A couple hours later Shitass comes over and asks what the crap is going on. I can barely keep a straight face while I told him the story....

BD: So yea, you should get that checked out. (had started laughing at this point...)
SA: Wait a minute...
BD: He's looking out for you man!
SA: No no no, wait a second, you mean he was watching me breathe while I was sleeping?
BD: Probably while he was waiting for his dinner to heat up in the fireplace!
SA: WHAT THE FUCK, no way BD, no way. Fuck you, I am never staying at your house again. That creepy mother fucker was watching me sleep? Tell me you're making this up!

I was laughing too hard to even respond to Shitass anymore. He was irate and creeped out beyond belief. It took him a good half hour to get a hold of himself. We started cleaning up and that's when we discovered what had happened in the fireplace. It was a eventful day to say the least. From this point forward anytime anyone mentions anything remotely medical related we jump in and suggest they go to Dr. Hurricane for a proper diagnosis.

.